The Sweet Escape

Wednesday, June 27

tomorrow, i'm gonna meet up with lou&dee, my super best classmates.
Y

after that, if we break off early, cos dee may meet her friends, i'll prolly hang around and hahah. START STUDYING FOR PROMOS.(the mugger in me is starting to show.), or start going around window shopping.
&i'll have to drag my lazy ass for tuition.

for a while i thought, and was quite down when i heard that may be sand//* would not be able to meet up for dinner on friday. but after some arrangements, which was actually sacrifices on their part, we are able to meet. thanks nat and nicholas.
Y

i wanted to reserve saturday for spending it with mymymy bestest friends, and my family.
but maybe we 3can't meet up on sat, but i would love to spend like sunday with them!
Y

Y

coming back to reality, i keep thinking about how great a weekend i will have, that i've not yet touched my cheena book.& apparently, i have no clue what chapters are tested. i'm sure there are 100 of those loong, gross proverb like thingy that i have to memorise. but i can only find one stack of 50proverbs. great job syl.

Last Updated @ 8:44 PM

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around.

You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy.

You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you.

How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SNUFFLES!:D
poor berd, i stole her identity.

find myself getting pretty comfortable with the "10 things that happened to me today blog post".

1. OH MY GOSH. i suddenly woke up at 7.10 today. and 710 was the time i needed to meet ning-er. God like totally woke me up, cause i suddenly just woke up and checked my handphone, hoping it was 5am, cos i wanted to do some revision. butt to my horror, it was 7.10!& i take 45 minutes to get to school, plus i haven't bathed, i wouldn't reach there on time.Cause we have to be seated my 7.50am.

then i remembered this phrase that "God will never give you something to heavy that you cannot bear". i kept praying and saying "God i know you will provide a way for me to reach school on time".

my sisters were v. sweet. they suggested that mummy should send me to school first, and vyl would call her teacher or friend to say that she had a stomachache,(which was partly true, cos nat had to shit), and tell the teacher that they will be late. they reached school at 8. so grateful to them, cos if i was late, i would just have a panic attack and just blank out.

2.maths was urgh, whatever.i'm pretty sure i will get 4Us. and my parents have to go for the meet the teachers session.

3. headed home with jan.kat.clare.&dee. jan continued her journey home while dee.kat.clare.&i went to the pasar malam. i wanted to buy those adorable stickers that usually go for 3 for 1$$.but it was close:( apaprently, pasar malams do not open at the ungodly hour of 10am.

4.so we headed to whitesands, and went to eat at KFC. but syl didn't eat anything, cause i am on a diet, and i wanted to go home to eat proper, more organic food stuff.

5.seriously, i want to be a social worker/volunteer, anything, cause it feels so v.good to help others. today, i did a good deed again. i left my friends early, cos i wanted to go home to have lunch with mummy, and the escalator was spoilt. so we had to walk up. there was this old lady who was walking so painfully slow cause she was carrying like 5 huge bottles of oil. like poor thing, so i told her "Auntie (actually, she was like ah ah-ma), rang wo lai bang ni". so i helped her carry her bottle of oil, all the way to the exit.

:Dseriously, it feels so good to help people, though it's just small little acts of kindness.

note: it's 3days in a row where i've been doing a good deed.

personal goal: to do a good deed everyday.

6.my mummy's tau-kwa,fishcake,yam,pork porridge is the best. i ate and ate and ate.

7.going to jog-ajogjog at 430.

8.i'm meeting lou.dee.&jonas tomorrow after my hahah.cheena paper, to sorta celebrate my birthday. i'm sure it will be super fun, cause we;ve never actually gone out before.

9.i cannot wait to meet up with poh&berd. but when are we meeting?!

10.thank God for jonathan cho, who took over me for leading worship this weeek. cause i would be so busy over the weekend.

and off to read/memorise wahtever proverbs/chengyu thingy for tomorrow.

lovelove.

Last Updated @ 1:24 PM

Tuesday, June 26

I'M living in delusion.
(i;m trying to psycho myself that the cereal bar i just ate was 645KJ).

someone knows whether KJ=Kcal?!
please tell me!

as usual,

1. i slept at 1 last night. woke up at 6. was super tired.

2.lit was _________. again, fill in your own words.

3.Lou and I make the best partners in spotting questions. but the thing is we spot, try to memorise, and whn i try to do the qn! i forgot whether it was surplus or shortage, whether i have to draw 2 dd curves, or 2 ss curves. gosh.

4. i think i am gonna have a very interesting weekend.
can't wait.

5. i am gonna start exercising on thursday.

6.lilian, emily and i went to white sands today, and while they were buying food, this old man approached me and asked me for directions to the interchange. so, i brought him all the way to the exit of that shopping centre sso he could go to the interchange.
apparently, he couldn't see much, cos he had jjust undergone an operation.
i love doing kind deeds here and there.

7. econs was kick-ass hard.

8.in the mrt, we started eating some kueh that lilian bought.
so, i told em, and lily-anne about how kat,clare and i got scolded for eating in the mrt by this random old malay guy.
then suddenly oh-my-goshly, the mrt officer guy, appeared out of no where,and saw us eating. obviously, he went" No eating here ah". with this stern face, and walked away.
thn we realised, in the next cabin there were more MJ people eating too.
haha. talked about coincidentals.

9. chermaine's coming home today!
i must hear all her stories from her trip.

10. I SHOULD GET MY BUTT OUT OF MY NICE COMFY BED, GO BATHE, AND MAYBE TRY TO START ON THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MATHEMATICS.

lovelove.
syl:D

Last Updated @ 5:39 PM

Monday, June 25

Calories For The Day.
961.

it's an improvement, from yesterday's 1252.

let's just hope the stomach does'nt make any noise later on in the night.
but right now, after drinking the delicious shake, i'm pretty full.

off to 1984, OTHELLO:( , demand&ss, elasticity, perfect competition, objectives of firm, BlahBlahBlah.

syl.-

Last Updated @ 7:10 PM

a quick update before i go.
this is gonna be typed in 5mins, so don't mind the breifness.

1. i've found this online communityy, where ppl gather to well, lose weight. it's really, cool. i've started to gasp! COUNT CALORIES. for my daily intake of food.

2.i talked to random ppl yesterday.

firstly, was jonathan cho, thru sms-es.

and secondly, my cousin who called me at the ungodly hour of 11.45 just to talk. ended up talking to him for one whole hour. my gosh.
but, it was quite fun, all the catching up and everything.
and he kept suanning me cos i;m fat. but i don't really care, cos i suan him cos he's short.
anyway, the losing weight journey has just began.

3. i slept w/o completing my studying for chem paper.

4.i drank NINE litres of water from 12noon-7pm.
beat that.

5.ning er and i did a good deed today.
so sorry shuning, she waited for me at the mrt station for like 30mins! blame my stomach. the excessive volume of H2O forced out all the crap and ttoxins from my body.

so we reached school, and found the side gate locked. didn't have the heart to walk to the main gate cos it would take us forever. so we waited for someone to come and open.
then we decided to be good citizens of MJC, and open the gate fully, so as to not allow it to close again, and other misfortunate souls like us, will not have to wait for ppl to open the gate.

6. i gave up my saet on the train for this old uncle today,
i felt super proud of myself, and i was grining from ear to ear.

7. chemistry paper was ________.
(fill in your own adj.)

8.i think i saw someone's boyfriend at white sand's.

9.i'm eating oatmeal w a little milo powder.
total calories: 80.

it's all about the calories, babay.

10. I AM IN BADLY NEED OF A SHOWER, AN INTENSIVE LIT REVISION, AND A EVEN MORE INTENSIVE ECONS REVISION.

(screams! yells! jump aroud! pull hair... you get my point)

love you all! and i love my sissies too.

Last Updated @ 4:19 PM

a quick update before i go.

Last Updated @ 4:19 PM

Friday, June 22

SISTERS.

sitting on my bed, with the laptop charging, and with my 2 slices of pizza + 2 drumlets from pizzahut, i'm not happy at all. in fact, i'm quite angry, disappointed, and hurt.

Being the eldest, i think i can speak for all the oldest child in the families.
My greatest fear is to have your youngest sibling, scream at you, point fingers, and hurl abuse.

please note: i'm not trying to shift the blam to anyone here. i just wanna reflect, thru this outlet.

today we got into one of the usual fights. it's been happening very often, almost everyday we have something to quarrel about.
but i don't know, everytime, i'll just find myself crying, cause i'm only good at crying, in good times and in bad times.
today was no different too. but it was the multiple usage of abuses that she hurled, shouting that i'm the lousiest sister in the whole world, and she has no reason why she should respect me.

i think i felt like a mother who had just got slapped my her child.
that bad.
so, as usual the tears kept flowing as i mopped the floor.

i've failed as a big sister.and this thought did not just surface in my mind after the incident today. it's been there for so long.
but i mean, what can i do.
it's so obvious that they 2 have a closer relationship.and i'm always the one tagging behind.
i'm not trying to compare, but look atthe number of photos that they take together, and most of the time i say smtg, they give me the diao look. i just feel so out.

i know that i am partly to blame for this whole saga. but you think i want things to be this way.
sometimes everything get so irritaating and i just wanna take a back-seat, and not get involved. but always it'll be like" you're the oldest, why aren't you doing anything". a far cr from this afternoon where she was just saying "oh da-jie i love you so much".

i don't think they are feeling bad at all, cause they fel like they've won.
the reason why i am feeling sososo bad now, is because i stand there like a fool, just listening to all the critique, and insults and screaming, because i don't wanna argue back.
i came out of church camp making a promise to myself, and God that i would not use words like "stupid, ass, asshole, idiot, freaking, bloddy...." to anyone, much less to anyone in my family.
so today evening, i refrained from talking, listening foolishly to the words which hurt so badly.
words kill, seriously.

yes, some things said about me are true. i admit that i'm not the most initiative person around in the family, so,of course since dad and mum keep saying" what can i do w/o my natvianne?" i don't like to do too much housework, and i feel that cooking, and cleaning up is what is expected of me. perhaps sometimes, i'll sweep the porch and the backyard. i'm not like you who would go around, making sure everything is neat and tidy, so as to please parents. so, if you're expecting me to be like you, i cannot.

i cannot rule out the very basic fact that i love my sisters alotalot. i remember all the good things that we've shared. and i've always been trying to maintain a great relationship with them, cause i don't want a repeat of the mistakes/misunderstandings of the older generation to befall my sisters and i. that's why since very young, i was taught that i need to have a good relationship with my sisters, so as to protect the relationship we have in the future.

as much as i love and adore them, and want to enjoy happy things with them, most of the times, if i can say experiences that leave me feeling sad, and unwanted.
& i don't think it's a serious case of self-estemn.

so now, after alot of blabbering, and i don't even know what my whole point is.
i'm not blaming anyone, if i must blame someone, i would give myself most of the blame.
cause sometimes, they don't know that they are the reasons to just spoil my whole day.

i'm fed-up with the whole after the fighting session, and i feel that i got hurt, i give in and start talking to them.
tonight, i feel like just shutting my mouth, and not say anything to anyone.
perhaps, tonight i may want to have the whole bed to myself.

whatever la. this is all part of The Plan.
i still care for them, as i'm typing this post, i'm worrying about nat's safety as she went running along, and i'm praying for vyl cause she got accepted for the interview to tjdsa after netball tryouts, and we're waiting for the "welcome to tj" letter/call.

help me to change my weakness, and let me be able to be on the same wavelength as my sisters again.

it's no wonder people say that if you're depressed, blogging helps.
i'm feeling a whole lot better now.

Last Updated @ 6:43 PM

Wednesday, June 20

i still wanna blog about camp, but give me some time, after exams, and i'll give you a full account of it.

just got off a conference with poh and berd:D
visited Amanda at sgh together with poh,joanne,dor,jolene,ailin,lindy,cynthieee.&aunty glad.
and what can i say,
she's the happiest, most carefree patient anyone could have.
and deep down, i admire her alot.
her strong will, and her super positive attitude towards life, and her sickness makes me so proud to say that i am her friend.
well, i know that she is in God's loving hands, and He will take care of her.

went for consultation today. cleared some doubts, i think.
alot more to do.

time check: 11.52
start mugging at 12am, thursday.

i was so swey(wword for: bad luck) today. wanted to bathe before meetin them at outram, and when i was gonna on the tap, no water came out.
COS APPARENTLY THE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS AT MY HOUSE, BURST A PIPE. AND THEY HAD TO OFF ALL THE SOURCES OF WATER TO PREVENT FLOODING.
irritated me, cos i wanted to bathe.

read azy's lj, if she could study economics in 4 hours.
SO CAN I!

Last Updated @ 11:46 PM

Tuesday, June 19

HOW!!??

i am this close to giving up on my maths.
and i've not started on chemistry, which is another "i-am-gonna-die-subject-".
economics is a quarter done, i think.
don't even bother about asking me how my lit's coming along.
my lit texts are just somewhere in my room,

and now, at this last minute which consists of 5 days left..
i CANNOT rely on my strength.

sylvianne, it's time to rely on God. He will carry you through.

Last Updated @ 1:19 PM

Your strength is sufficient for me. Your strength is made perfect when i am weak. All that i cling to, i lay at your feet. Your grace is sufficient for me.

Psalm 121. v2.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliever, my God is my rock, in whom i take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

:D

Last Updated @ 1:11 PM

Monday, June 18

CHURCH CAMP WAS LIKE.... WOW.

THANK YOU LORD:D

pictures to upload, but most importantly, i need to catch up on the books&mugging.

see you people, most prolly after my dreaded exams.
&praise the Lord manda is doing fine:D

Last Updated @ 9:38 PM

Sunday, June 10

today's a darn shitty day.

you think your comments will make me feel hurt & angry?
yes, they will.

But, they will only make me more determined to succeed.
Just you wait.

BBBAAAAHHHHH TO THIS DARN WORLD.
gosh.

Last Updated @ 12:58 AM

Saturday, June 9

WAIT AND YOU'LL SEE.

oh! i'm kinda fed up with the "oh, you better stop eating late night suppers, cos you can't afford to put on more weight".

damn it.

please wait for the new me.

before you pass judgements.

had a nice big fat bowl of salad for lunch.

i love making salad.

you just cut and dump everything in.

today's salad consisted of red peppers,tomatoes,orange,some cheese bits and a few slices of spare ham that my dad bought from the land of Australia.

Yummy.

Sigh, back to reality,back to this:

Just you wait and See.

love, syl.

Last Updated @ 1:10 PM

Friday, June 8

It's funny how one year ago, i was hoping that the big Os would just quickly pass.
Now, i find myself struggling to see when the As will end.

no wonder everyone said that Os is nothing compared to the As.

&yes, seriously.
sigh, just when i thought studying was so much fun because i saw the slight improvement, of being able to do some sums or memorize some crap Econs theories, i feel like i've reached a dead-end.

suddenly, the past 3 days, of intensive and successful study sessions seems to have contributed to these 2 days of idling, and stoning instead of studying.

i think i am stressed out. i stress myself out too easily and crazily.

tell me, just when i started affirming myself that jc was MY chocie, and since i'm in MJ, God has a plan for me. BUt if you ask me, i can see no plan for me, now.

sometimes, they say, take a step back and you'll be able to see the whole picture.

But hopefully, i pray that i will leave it in the hannds of God, knowing full well that he will carry me through.

Last Updated @ 2:08 PM

Thursday, June 7

so much for saying how fun studying was.
practically bummed my afternoon away. morning was spent quite well.
i didn't get my routine usual afternoon 3hr nap. i wonder how i am gonna last through the night.
tuition soon. which reminds me i have to bathe, get changed, pack my bag, close the windows, and leave in ten minutes.

sigh. i'll prolly be dead tired & prolly fall asleep in class.

GREEN TEA! HERE I COME.

Last Updated @ 6:37 PM

i never knew studying could be so painfully tiring, yet so much fun.
(actuaally i think i knew, but i kinda forgot cause i've not studied since like novemeber last year).
i think i am like crazy.
i'm starting to re-experience the studying before Os xperience.
the green tea, the uber late nights, or if i can say till the early mornings of 4am.
love it like totally.

AND POH AND BERD, WILL YOU STILL BE MY FRIEND IF I SAY THAT I LOVE LISTENING TO CLASSICAL MUSIC + ALL THE EVERGREEN SONGS.
(i think you will, cause you stuck by me during my chinese song days)

but truth is, i have alot to catch up with.
the maths! killer.
&furthermore, the church camp.
5 days gone.
i hope i will be able to bring my books there and study.

see, you should realise how much of a rush i am in tpying this post.
it's so random and brief. not the usual nagging andd loonng,& draggy posts.
hahah. better enjoy it and not complain cause after the mid years, i'll be back with the whinny, long naggy posts!

studying is most fun!
&i have a super random friend who calls me in the middle of the night while we're studying, and always end off the convo very randomly with "bye friend". haha.:D
okay, this is also so random.

GO GO GO SYLVIANNE.

Last Updated @ 11:50 AM

Saturday, June 2

STUDYING with loads of Mac's, books, and GAP hoodies.

Last Updated @ 9:21 AM

Friday, June 1

leaving for the airport soon.

after i take my bath again.
maybe it's the weather.

let's pray i'll make full use of my time there.
& not just dream of being an air stewardess.
hahahah. reminded of this:

"IT'S EASIER TO LOSE WEIGHT THAN TO GROW TALLER".

hahah. nat pungseh me! quickly nat quickly!

Last Updated @ 10:24 AM